For almost 10 years I failed at being helpmate for my dear wife, but through the grace and mercy of Christ I'm not only my wife's minister,but her helpmate and her brother in Christ. Divorce is often the sign we failed at being the helpmate God called us to be. Its time you be your spouses helpmate
An important part of God's purpose for marriage was to have a help mate, someone to love and to encourage us. Not to have a maid, a beast of burden, or a pack mule, or a man slave, but a mate an equal. Do you treat your spouse that way? Do you know your spouse's needs without him or her having to tell you? Do you know how they desire to be loved? Or just how you, desire to give love?
"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (Ephesians 5:24)
(God did not intend for this to be one-sided. A husband also should help his wife. Otherwise, a husband would not love his wife as Christ loves the church.
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it " (Ephesians 5:25.)
Okay guys relax, this does not excuse the wife from also remember that she must support and encourage her husband also, for he is the head of the house and he is to love his wife as Christ did to the church and die for her if necessary. Wives do you welcome your husband home with a kiss and a kind word? Or is guess what the kids did now? Do either of you welcome the other one home in love and concern for how their day went? Well do you? We all need help and encouragement. Sadly, for most people, that is often not at all what they receive from their spouse.
Your spouse, whether you know it or not, desperately wants and needs your help, your encouragement, and your support.
Are all spouses perfect and deserving of encouragement and support? No one is perfect. None are, I speak for myself not sure why my wife even married someone like me. I'm very structured and demand that my home and my kids and myself be that way. Easy if you grew up in a military family not easy for a California blond, yet she endeavors daily to be a reflection of Christ for me and our children ! We all make mistakes. Especially in those times, it is important that we have someone to encourage us and help us to believe we can go on and do better. God meant for you and I to be that someone to help our spouse.
Don't fall into the trap of waiting until your spouse starts being nice to you. God's law works in this area, too: whatever you give, you will receive. So the best way to get your spouse to treat you better is to treat them better.
God does not expect you to love and help your spouse solely with your own love, but to allow God to pour His perfect love through you. God loves your spouse enough to die for them and desires to express that love through you. If your spouse would not describe you as their encourager, friend, and a great help to them you are missing God's plan. You need to be your mate's biggest supporter and biggest fan each of us needs to feel like we are not alone and that our mate especially is on our side.
Yes, this can be hard. Yes, you have no doubt suffered at their hands but the old saying is that "Love hurts" normally the persons closes to us can harm us the greatest. Yes, they have hurt you and you probably don't feel like being a blessing to them after what they have done to you. But none of this changes the Word of God and His plan. Whenever you find direction in God's Word that seems difficult or impossible, your approach should always be to ask God to help you. "Lord, I see in your Word that you want me to do
this, but I need your help. Help me to love them. I pray that you Oh Lord will work through me and allow me to be a living reflection of you and that I might be able to show them the true love of Christ, for my love is and certainly flawed for I'm flawed and I'm weak but through you I'm made perfect so let my love for my spouse be perfect also as you are perfect ."
An important part of God's purpose for marriage was to have a help mate, someone to love and to encourage us. Not to have a maid, a beast of burden, or a pack mule, or a man slave, but a mate an equal. Do you treat your spouse that way? Do you know your spouse's needs without him or her having to tell you? Do you know how they desire to be loved? Or just how you, desire to give love?
"Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing." (Ephesians 5:24)
(God did not intend for this to be one-sided. A husband also should help his wife. Otherwise, a husband would not love his wife as Christ loves the church.
"Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it " (Ephesians 5:25.)
Okay guys relax, this does not excuse the wife from also remember that she must support and encourage her husband also, for he is the head of the house and he is to love his wife as Christ did to the church and die for her if necessary. Wives do you welcome your husband home with a kiss and a kind word? Or is guess what the kids did now? Do either of you welcome the other one home in love and concern for how their day went? Well do you? We all need help and encouragement. Sadly, for most people, that is often not at all what they receive from their spouse.
Your spouse, whether you know it or not, desperately wants and needs your help, your encouragement, and your support.
Are all spouses perfect and deserving of encouragement and support? No one is perfect. None are, I speak for myself not sure why my wife even married someone like me. I'm very structured and demand that my home and my kids and myself be that way. Easy if you grew up in a military family not easy for a California blond, yet she endeavors daily to be a reflection of Christ for me and our children ! We all make mistakes. Especially in those times, it is important that we have someone to encourage us and help us to believe we can go on and do better. God meant for you and I to be that someone to help our spouse.
Don't fall into the trap of waiting until your spouse starts being nice to you. God's law works in this area, too: whatever you give, you will receive. So the best way to get your spouse to treat you better is to treat them better.
God does not expect you to love and help your spouse solely with your own love, but to allow God to pour His perfect love through you. God loves your spouse enough to die for them and desires to express that love through you. If your spouse would not describe you as their encourager, friend, and a great help to them you are missing God's plan. You need to be your mate's biggest supporter and biggest fan each of us needs to feel like we are not alone and that our mate especially is on our side.
Yes, this can be hard. Yes, you have no doubt suffered at their hands but the old saying is that "Love hurts" normally the persons closes to us can harm us the greatest. Yes, they have hurt you and you probably don't feel like being a blessing to them after what they have done to you. But none of this changes the Word of God and His plan. Whenever you find direction in God's Word that seems difficult or impossible, your approach should always be to ask God to help you. "Lord, I see in your Word that you want me to do
this, but I need your help. Help me to love them. I pray that you Oh Lord will work through me and allow me to be a living reflection of you and that I might be able to show them the true love of Christ, for my love is and certainly flawed for I'm flawed and I'm weak but through you I'm made perfect so let my love for my spouse be perfect also as you are perfect ."
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